This week I had a conversation which left me deep in thought. A friend shared that in spite of her best efforts, she was continuing to fall short of her goal.
I was struck by her sense of dismay…of being ‘stuck’ and the slow burn of self-doubt taking hold. Should she keep ploughing on, head down? Or finally take this as a sign to change tack completely and re-evaluate her plans?
When we are in a ‘stuck’ mindset, it can be hard to acknowledge progress we’ve made. Which inevitably impacts our motivation to continue and before we know it we are looping back round to stuck again.
Within financial coaching sessions, often clients to focus on how far away they feel from reaching their goal(s), rather than reflecting on the journey so far and celebrating the progress made. Often progress is so incremental we are the last to acknowledge it.
With each door that closes you are walking towards opening the right door
With each setback comes the opportunity to reassess our path towards our goal. In doing so, we are also now one small step further down the path towards reaching that goal.
Research from Economics and Psychology has found that when faced with complex problems and decisions, humans are generally wired to look for quick wins and successes and favour the simplest way to reach a solution (known as mental shortcutting or heuristics). Therefore, when we are ‘in’ the moment and find ourselves falling short of a goal or target it can feel like a relentless, hard, slog.
Successes are to be celebrated, failures not so much.
When we experience setbacks that increase our journey efforts or time to reach our goal, becoming creative is often the last thing we have the energy for.
In financial coaching sessions with clients, very often the main outcome we start working on together forms part of, but is not THE final outcome; a bit like a rough first draft.
In many cases we become bogged down by the heaviness of our emotions. In financial coaching as we gently peel away the layers of a client’s thinking to reach the root of the problem, this allows us to get to the core. With support the client can consider the alternative or flip side of a particular thought or belief held. This sparks a small but significant change.
By telling ourselves the same (usually negative) message over and over on a loop, this compounds how bad we feel; often resulting in feelings of shame or guilt which only serves to keep us feeling frustrated and well and truly stuck.
By skipping beyond the part where we are playing the same message on a loop, we can reframe that particular issue or belief. In doing so we step into new territory and into a more creative mode.
By reframing the issue or challenge;
– This creates a small mindset shift that allows us to really open up some possibilities by having a more relaxed and open mind.
– This can allow the opportunity to separate actual truths from our perceptions and opens up space.
– Once we are less emotionally bound to the problem or issue, we are ready to look at the issue in a new light and feel motivated to take new or continued action.
You would be amazed (I always am) at the positive workarounds or solutions that are in there just waiting to be unleashed with the right support, focus and space to do so.
Perhaps there is something you are struggling with right now? If so, to help become unstuck, try a reframe of the problem or issue by considering the progress you have made and by asking yourself ‘what is another way of looking at this’?
M if you are reading, look how far you’ve come, I know you are within touching distance of your goal now!
If this resonates, don’t be shy, Drop me a line.
It is good to hear about real-life challenges you are experiencing and also sharing your wins. If you’d like to discuss how financial coaching could help you, you can book a call here
Until next week.
P.S If when reading this the talk of loops conjured up a vision of an 80s cassette, you are in good company! If you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, congratulations you you must be young – and that is definitely something to celebrate.
