On holiday in Croatia a few years ago now, I was tickled when the waiter approached me to take down my order beginning his sentence with ‘Tell me..?’
I found his words so curious. So inviting.
So in the spirit of curiosity, I’d like to invite you to spend some time thinking about your relationship with money.
We all have a relationship with money which is not static nor linear. For most people it takes an element of consistent work and it begins with awareness.
I’d like to invite you to think about the following question :
Tell me, what’s your relationship like with money?
Before answering, pause. Have a think and ponder how that question makes you feel.
How it REALLY makes you feel.
For this I’d encourage you to sit with this a minute.
What emotions, words or phrases does this bring up for you?
Is there any resistance? Does it feel uncomfortable?
Maybe entirely the opposite and you feel proud of how you’ve recently been handling your finances and spending?
Either way, I’d encourage you to sit with that feeling for a moment and contemplate things a little more deeply.
Any key thoughts and feelings bubbling up?
Why write?
Thinking more deeply, beyond those initial thoughts can uncover deeper layers not at the forefront of our consciousness. For those of you who aren’t new here, you’ll know I have a bit of an obsession with bringing in an onion analogy about now (to catch up on previous musings head to Blogs).
I find people tend to avoid putting pen to paper however it brings vast benefits!
In the female founder community I’m part of this was one of my first learnings and has now become a weekly practice.
Prior to my weekly habit I vowed to journal and even fell for the fresh start effect. This is a behavioural science finding that people are more likely to try goal-setting if it is at the beginning of something e.g. first month of the year. So when January 2023 rolled round I set the resolution and failed at it (again). An intention-action gap right there.
It felt too forced. Unnatural. I spent way too much time over thinking it, thus blocking me from getting on with free-flow writing.
I know what you are thinking, isn’t journaling just another fad?
Another nostalgic throwback to children of the 80s and the diaries with padlocks?! Did you write one? I did and enjoyed it during my secretive teenage years. The modern upgrade ones come with a fancy digital combination code (great… until your child forgets the code!).
Money is a topic that can evoke many emotions and throw up events or thoughts we have buried deeply and often we don’t even know it. The first step to understanding your own unique relationship to money is awareness. Writing about it can quickly evoke that awareness.
I’ve enjoyed delving into the science behind writing and journaling – there is a fair amount! Here’s a summary of my top 5 key benefits :
- We think at a speed much greater than we can physically write. Writing it all down forces us to slow down, unjumble our thoughts and get us ‘out of our own heads’.
- Writing aids the cognitive process. By getting it all out in black and white, this allows us to see themes and patterns which is far less possible when processing our thoughts silently.
- Links have been found between journaling and gratitude. Our focus is on what we have already achieved or gained as well as considering the ways in which we feel like we’re falling short and future goals.
- By writing our thoughts down, it disconnects us for a bit. This allows us to contain, rationalise and safely explore negative thoughts. Research found that by expressing gratitude participants experienced reduced stress levels, had better health, increased levels of optimism and a better quality of sleep to boot (Wong and Brown, 2017).
- Journaling or writing allows us to include many strands; so creates a holistic view. Whilst a practice, or skill to hone it may happen more quickly than you think. 15-30 mins of daily journaling provided benefits after just 3-5 days (Pennebaker, 1997).
As we know from Behavioural Economics the human brain is adept at ‘shortcutting’ to aid decision-making (Kahneman, 2011). Helpful to ease the pain of the thousands of choices and decisions we are faced with – 35,000 daily according to psychology today! This also allows us to ignore the false narratives, not to mention the inconvenient truths which is less helpful.
So in summary writing things down allows us to get creative, be honest and confront our avoidance habit.
Now, back to you and your relationship with money…
Why don’t you go and find that lovely fancy notebook you bought (stationery lovers I see you!) and a pen and let the thoughts flow.
It will cost you nothing but a window of your time. The results, however, may prove to be priceless.
Perhaps you already journal out your thoughts? If not, I hope this has encouraged you to dip your toe in?
Consider sharing this with someone who it might help today.
🌹 As always would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Until next time.
Bud | Bloom | Grow
Sources:
Kahneman, Daniel (2011) Thinking fast and slow.
Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological science, 8(3), 162-166.
Wong, J. & Brown, J. (2017 June 6). How gratitude changes you and your brain. Greater good Magazine Accessed 01 May 2024.
