I was forced to dig deep today, struggling somewhat to remain calm and focussed due to a few issues weighing on my mind.
One was feeling frustrated about an ongoing tech issue which is taking forever (or certainly what feels like FOREVER) to resolve. The other was a sudden awareness of my lack of focus and headspace. On a holiday Monday within our busy household with everyone at home and indoors surrounding me today. A throwback to those not so long ago times when we were all forced to be indoors, realisation : it could certainly be much worse!
Just as I caught my thoughts beginning to spiral very unhelpfully, one of my all time favourite quotes sprung to mind.
God grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change, the courage to
change the things I can and the wisdom to
know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr
I was about fourteen years old when I came across this quote. I was drawn to it hanging up on the wall in my friend’s mum’s home office. I remember reading it over and over as I pondered the meaning. It was a colourful pretty framed cross stitched piece. I thought it must be important for it to have been hand sewn and framed like that. I can still see it now.
As I’ve grown older, experienced life, encountered people and problems (theirs and mine!) I have found this phrase to be as true as it is helpful.
In life, the good news is there is so much we can do to control, influence or change circumstances. In the same breath, it can serve us well to recognise sometimes we are faced with issues that are outside of our sphere of control. Undoubtedly the skill lies in knowing the difference between the two.
If the issue is outside of our sphere of control, we can focus on being at one with that truth. In the case of the latter I tend to take a step back to consider whether there is any influence I can have on any level to allow me some agency.
In financial coaching, people often come heavily weighed down by a problem; which can be the outer layer of several layers of issues and/or beliefs. For more on the many layers we peel back in financial coaching, see my previous blog Reframing. The first critical step therefore is awareness. I very much enjoy working with clients to help them gain clarity by bringing awareness to the facts of the current situation.
For me today I realised that the tech was most definitely outside of my control as I need to wait for third party support. Armed with this new insight I put those thoughts aside and instead channelled my energy and so I wrote this blog. A win-win for sure! As for the other, in 24 hours’ time normal routine will be resumed and I’ll probably find myself missing the hustle and bustle.
If you are wresting with something at the moment why not try to apply the principles of the serenity quote?
Doing so could help you to determine in the first instance whether the issue or challenge you’re facing is within your sphere of influence or control. It will also place some distance between you and the problem, to allow you to see potential next steps. Forcing you towards new thinking and action. Now armed with the answer to that question, what action (if any) can you take?
I’m curious, do you have a favourite or insightful quote you tend to lean into when times get tough?
🌹As always I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Share this with someone today who this might resonate with.
Until next time.
